December 2011
and now everything in my brain comes tumbling out
I really hope Beyonce gives birth on a weekday. I’m not really on Tumblr on the weekends and I’m going to need to be with all of you during that special time.
I’d like to blame my job for me missing this when it first came out, but Lauren was kind enough to fill me in. So now I’ve watched this “I love my friends” Kris Jenner video way more times than I care to admit, and while I have a ton - a ton - of questions, I keep coming back to this:
…is this why her marriage with Robert Kardashian ended?
She loves you!
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I really fucking highly doubt that.
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Something you guys should know.
It’s my not-so-secret life goal to make sure James loves me more than John. In order to achieve this, I give him whatever he wants, take him on extra long walks, scratch that spot on his chest at least once a day, and give him kisses on the cheek every 10 minutes or so. I tell him he’s perfect and I love him. He can never do wrong.
I just realized that...
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New Year’s Eve 2007. Our first one. We sort of crashed a party at some fancy house in Philly. Apparently we were friends-of-friends of the couple’s nanny? (Never met or saw the nanny.) John’s eyes were closed the entire night.
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Top Ten Things John Did to Annoy Me in 2011
just kidding.
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is my sister a.) the cutest, or b.) the cutest?
also, here she is walking her cat. on a leash.
photos stolen from Gavin
“Are you being a puppy? I feel like you’re being a total puppy right now....”
– me, to James
I need to get out of the house more often.
there’s a real housewives of nyc marathon on right now. it’s the episode where sonja has some guy snaking a cell phone out of her toilet at the same time she has someone else clearing her house of bad karma.
they were the best of times.
you guys.
50 bottles of champagne?!
My friends aren’t that great.
Kidding. But not. What do we think about 20 bottles + a few cases of beer + a box each of red & white wine? (The nice boxes. We’re klassy over here.)
How much champagne do I need to water approximately 15 lushes of my friends on New Year’s Eve?
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this guy loves the Internet more than you do.
last big push today. I wish my imaginary assistant could bring me a cheesesteak and a fountain soda.
3pm tomorrow, this will be me:
and this too:
send caffeine and photo replies.
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I wonder what the next wedding will be like.
liligolightly asked: TRUE LIFE: I wanted my name to be Ashleigh so much in middle school that I wrote *NSYNC fanfiction under the pseudonym Ashleigh. THERE IS SO MUCH IN THAT SENTENCE THAT I REGRET
According to the Today Show, 2012 is the Year of...
no, really.
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“What should I do with my face? I’m serious. I’m not ready for my big...”
– John, on how to prepare his facial hair for New Year’s Eve
ibroughtyousometoast answered your question: You guys are right. According to my research (aka…
Uncle Jesse’s actual first name was Hermes. Fair or Foul?
You guys are right. According to my research (aka Wikipedia), Yolanda Saldivar was the president of Selena’s fan club and later became the manager of Selena’s clothing boutiques. She wasn’t Selena’s actual manager.
Saldivar is in solitary confinement in a Texas prison and is eligible for parole in 2025.
Who else should we talk about?
It is so messed up that Selena’s manager killed her.
here is a smiling goat.
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UCYN: A year in review.
January [James suits up for playoff season. Also I turned 27.]
February [Steelers go to the Super Bowl. This picture was taken before the game started. Later, I threatened to burn my shirt.]
March [Bridal shower hosted by my sister. Bachelorette party #2 (can’t find photos of the first one) hosted by Red Bull Vodkas.]
April [Kim’s birthday! And I got to pack up the people I...
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other things that are ironic
aside from Cameron Diaz’s hair in My Best Friend’s Wedding and eating disgustingly awesome foods while watching reality weight loss television (yay America. also I need to run)?
drinking wine while watching Intervention.
it relaxes you during a Very Intense Television Viewing Session, and yet that sixth third glass seems to carry with it more consequences. you all of a sudden think...
Cameron Diaz's hair in My Best Friend's Wedding...
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Eating bacon and watching The Biggest Loser.
I’m a caricature of myself.
I took a little break from work.
lovespugs asked: Tag, you’re it! Here are the rules: Each tagged person must post ten things about themselves. You have to choose and tag ten people. Go to their blogs and tell them you tagged them.
dfsgs4yq38ta dfnhkc nakls naskdfnln
Friday yet?
I tried writing a haiku but ran out of time and...
End of the year.
It’s like finals week in college minus the adderall and endless packs of cigarettes.
I miss college.
Christmas was a gigantic success.
We opened gifts, ate a TON of food, watched movies, listened to music, and, last night, slept from 8pm to 7am.
Today, I worked. But that’s fine because I’m done now and am wrapping up this day with a large bloody mary and Crazy Stupid Love.
This movie is sort of sad.
Back to the real world, and blogging nonsense, tomorrow.
Merry Christmas! Santa brought me a Macbook. Can’t wait to figure out Photobooth so I can bombard you with pictures of me.
…John just lit his hand on fire.
Never a dull moment.
Love you guys! Hope you’re having a great day.
alright guys. I’ve been freed.
thanks for encouraging/supporting/dealing with my slow descent into insanity.
love you for it.
merry christmas.
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oh christ.
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this is the day it snowed approximately 47 feet in Pittsburgh and John and I decided to have an “album cover” photo shoot.
The caption is Does anyone remember laughter?
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this was what I decided would make a good profile...
I hate myself.
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2006.
This face pretty much sums it up.
I’ve spent a lot of time drinking in parking lots.
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I went to Live 8 in Philly in 2005.
All I remember about this is how hot it was. And I saw Jay Z.
facebook timeline just reminded me of that...
delete.
delete.
delete.
that concert was fun though.
Remember this?
Team Jim Toth.
CupOfChi wants to marry Kurt Browning
Don’t tell her I told you that.
truelifeiliveinnyc asked: If you were a professional figure skater what would be your signature move or face?
Your embarrassing stories are awesome. A lot of you have bladder control issues.
Totally not judging.
I wish I still had my Barbies.
fact du jour
I played with Barbies until I was approximately 13.
So that’s embarrassing.
…What else do you guys want to talk about? Tell me something embarrassing about yourselves.
itsalwaysb asked: Do you say "um, can you not?" a lot IRL? I went to Europe for a few months and we said it ALL THE TIME while we were there so I think of that every time I see your name. Just in case you cared what I was thinking when I saw your name.
cupofchi asked: Let's say James goes into a crazy rage and is going to destroy everything in your house. What three things would you save first?